top of page

Are You Building Love and Respect in Your Marriage?

EP 2 | Marriage + Parenting 511



Review from last week:

1st Thessalonians 5:9-11

For God did not appoint us to wrath, but to obtain salvation through our Lord Jesus Christ, 10 who died for us, so that whether we are awake or asleep, we may live together with him. 11 Therefore encourage one another and build each other up as you are already doing.

  • Tone and Volume

  • Do-overs

  • Hug it out


This week!

“I respect you” paradigm

Diffuse and Disengage Practicum

From scripture, what is the number 1 thing husbands are called to do for their wives, and what is the number 1 thing wives are called to do for their husbands?

  • Husbands: love their wives as Christ loved the church

  • Wives: Submit to your husbands as they submit to Christ

Ephesians 5:24-25

Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives are to submit to their husbands in everything. 25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself for her

Wives, you are called to submit to your husband in their leadership. 

  • You don’t submit to their sin

  • You don’t submit to violence of any kind

  • You don’t submit to narcissism. That’s self-worship and it’s a sin(idolatry) 

Husbands, you are called to love your wife as Jesus loved the Church!

  • Husbands give me a heads up. What did Jesus do for the church? 

  • He died for it. Would your wife say you are dying for her and the children? Don’t tell me you would. Are you?

  • Love is different than obedience in that it is not contingent on the others actions. It is contingent on the love given us by King Jesus

  • The response can change but the love must remain

  • So what does Respect look like? What do our kids need to see when it comes to a healthy marriage? Healthy parenting?

I respect you therefore I will:

  1. Choose to listen to you right now. Your words matter

  2. Choose to be mindful of my tone and volume. You are my equal

  3. Choose to pray for you, and encourage you. I am your biggest fan

Diffuse and Disengage Practicum:

  • Sometimes we need to separate ourselves. Conversation has gotten heated, words are becoming offensive, and good intentions are sparse.

  • What do we do? This is for that situation. 

  • Goes like this:

  1. Decide (1 or 2 times) when you will choose to walk away

  2. Let your spouse know that this is a possibility. 

  3. Make the statement, “ I love you, I respect you, but this is not working right now. If you continue to (raise your voice, name call, negative actions, etc.) then I will walk away

  4. Once the second time happens, repeat the phrase. “I love you, I respect you, but this is now working right now. I’m going to take a break.” 

  5. Agree between you both that you will decide the time once you both cool off

Recent Posts


bottom of page