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Tough Talks In Marriage.

Are Tough Conversations Strengthening or Straining Your Marriage?

EP 3 | Marriage + Parenting 511




1st Thessalonians 5:9-11

For God did not appoint us to wrath, but to obtain salvation through our Lord Jesus Christ, 10 who died for us, so that whether we are awake or asleep, we may live together with him. 11 Therefore encourage one another and build each other up as you are already doing.

  • God didn’t make us for wrath

  • God has given us salvation through Jesus

  • What are we to do with this gift??

  • Encourage. Build up.


Difficult Conversations:

Ephesians 4:29

No foul language should come from your mouth, but only what is good for building up someone in need, so that it gives grace to those who hear.

  • Foul (sapros) means putrid, poor quality, worn out

  • Good (agathos) honorable, agreeable, pleasant. Why?

  • We are called to give grace (charos) a kindness used to turn people to Christ

  • So are we only allowed to speak positively to one another?

  • Answer: yes. We are called to build up.

  • We are called to build up one another, build up our children, AND…build up our marriage:


One purpose of hard conversations is FOR the marriage, not for the preference of self.


Times to have hard conversations and how:

  1. When anything seeks to hurt the marriage relationship.

  • I’m uncomfortable with that person

  • I’m not sure your job fits our family’s needs

  • I’m not sure your friend/family member is a positive influence on you/our kids

  1. When anything stands in the way of growth and integrity building of the marriage relationship.

  • Anything damaging the marriage relationship

  • Your mindset/preferences are primary

  • You don’t apologize. You don’t forgive. You don’t listen.

  • Again, the purpose of hard conversations is  FOR the marriage, never for the preference of self.

Examples of self-preference:

  • I want to watch this show

  • We must eat here

  • All my friends have this

  • Why don’t we get to do what others do?


Marriage Meetup Practicum:

  • When?

  • How? 

  • What’s the purpose?

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