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How do you Speak to your Spouse & Kids?

EP 1 | Marriage + Parenting 511



1st Thessalonians 5:9-11

For God did not appoint us to wrath, but to obtain salvation through our Lord Jesus Christ, 10 who died for us, so that whether we are awake or asleep, we may live together with him. 11 Therefore encourage one another and build each other up as you are already doing.

  • God didn’t make us for wrath.

  • God has given us salvation through Jesus.

  • What are we to do with this gift??

  • Encourage. Build up.

  • Over the next 4 weeks, we will be giving 4 lectures on biblical principles in marriage. These will better equip you to navigate the deep waters of marriage and set you up to be optimum, gospel-driven spouses and parents.

Here are the 4:

  1. Tone and Volume teaching, do-overs, and hug-it-out practicum.

  2. I respect your teaching, diffusing, and disengaging practicum.

  3. Difficult Conversations teaching, marriage meet-up practicum.

  4. Active Listening teaching, 2 takeaways practicum/family meet-up practicum.


Tone and Volume.

EVERYTHING ok almost EVERYTHING can be said with the right tone and volume.

  • I recognized I was not Selina’s best friend back in the day when I began to realize what kind of tone I would use with her and how loud I could choose to be.

  • None of my buddies would put up with that kind of behavior from me, but I expected my wife, who I called my best friend to?

  • Maybe you have found yourself in this same space.

Proverbs 14:29

A patient person shows great understanding,

but a quick-tempered one promotes foolishness.

  • Lack of proper tone is impatient.

  • The lack of proper tone is wrathful.

  • It’s foolish.

  • Where does our anger come from? That is a longer conversation, but the beginning of change is personal accountability for our sin.

  • Proper tone and volume are demonstrable with patience.

  • You are giving patience to your spouse.

  • How many of us need that? :)

  • Proper tone and volume also show you are seeking to understand, not control.



  • Do-overs

  • Hug it out


  1. What do your spouse/kids say about your tone and volume?

  2. Do-overs are a game changer. What part gets you excited?


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