JESUS IS THE MODEL & MOTIVATION

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Ephesians 5:22-6:9

Merry Christmas y'all.

Four more days. This is the fourth Sunday of Advent, the fourth week, and this week leading up to Christmas. I would like for us to focus on peace. Jesus said, my peace I give to you. Don't let your heart be troubled or be afraid.

For many of us, Christmas is not all joy to the world. It can be a reminder of some hard things, but Jesus knows our struggles. He carried our sorrows, he experienced our griefs. And the Bible says that Jesus Himself is our peace. We just sang, he is the Prince of Peace. He sees the storms that are surrounding us in this life, and he sees the storms that are raging inside of us.

And he says, peace, be still. And.

I light this first candle for the hope that we have, even in the waiting. The second is for the joy.

The joy that we can choose no matter what our circumstances are.

The third is for the love that we find in Jesus and today, for the peace that surpasses all understanding. The advent reading for today comes from the book of Isaiah, chapter nine. Hear the word of the Lord. The people walking in darkness have seen a great light on those living in the land of deep darkness. A light has dawned for to us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders, and he will be called wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace, of the greatness of his government and peace.

There will be no end. He will reign on David's throne and over his kingdom, establishing and upholding it with justice and righteousness from that time on and forevermore. The zeal of the Lord Almighty will accomplish this. This is the word of the Lord. Let me pray. Heavenly father, we need your help now. Please send us the gift of Your Holy Spirit, Lord, to illuminate these scriptures.

Get out! Get me out of the way! Get me out of the way! May they not be my words. Lord, I ask that you would speak your words to every heart, to every mind.

To every soul under the sound of my voice. Lord, let your words fall on our hearts like like water on dry ground.

Satisfy us, Lord, in the morning with your loving kindness. And produce much fruit in our lives. May Jesus be exalted. Make us more like him. Draw all people unto yourself. In Jesus name, Amen. Please open your Bibles or mobile devices and find the book of Ephesians. We're going to start in chapter five today. And if you are, physically able and willing, please stand with me for the reading of God's Word.

Today's reading comes from the letter of Paul to the Ephesians, chapter five. I will read verses 22 to 33. Hear the word of the Lord. Wives, submit to your own husbands as to the Lord, for the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church, his body and is himself its Savior.

Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit and everything to their husbands, husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle, or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.

In the same way, husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body. Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.

This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband. This is the word of the Lord. You may be seated. Over the last few weeks, we have been in the second half of the letter to the Ephesians, and Paul has been teaching us how we are to walk.

Walk. He said it over and over again. Walk in this life with Jesus. Walk in unity, walk in holiness, walk in love, walk in light, and walk in wisdom. Up to this point, he has been speaking to the church gathering as a whole. This is how you are to live with one another. This is how you are to treat one another.

This is how you are, what not to do and what to do with one another. When you are gathered together for worship and when you're living together in community. But now, today, he's going to get a little personal. He's going to instruct them on how to live in their homes and in their families and in their relationships and at their work and in their personal lives, even when no one else from the church is around.

Sometimes when no one else is watching. What should the gospel do for us in our life? He's going to discuss three sets of relationships wife and husband, child and parent, slave and master. In each pair. The one who is to submit is discussed first. Wives. Children. Slaves. Then Paul commands those in the position of authority, husbands, fathers, masters, and in every section Jesus Christ is put forth as both the model and the motivation behind each command.

He is the model. He is the motivation. These passages are referred to as the household codes. There are other places in the New Testament where they are presented. Colossians three first Peter three. But nowhere in any of these New Testament passages that talk about the household codes. None of the apostles deprecate those who are to submit. The apostles do not belittle those who are to to submit.

They are not less than. They are not considered less than in any way. In fact, in Galatians three, Paul makes it very clear that all are equal in Christ.

There is no suggestion or hint or allowance of misogyny in any of these passages. There is no suggestion of male dominance. These are unacceptable in the Christian household. Paul wants his readers and us to actually live out the gospel. The gospel story should influence and affect every part of our story, every part of our lives, all of our relationships, every role and responsibility that God has given to us in this life.

Every part of who we are. Verse 22 wives, submit to your own husbands as to the Lord. Some of us will have a difficult time with this passage. The world, post-Christian, post-feminist world will definitely have a difficult time with this passage. But friends, we must understand first how we were made. And then we must realize that when men and women were made differently, they were.

We were made uniquely. Genesis two then the Lord God formed the man of dust from the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life. And the man became a living creature. The Lord God took the man, and he put him in the Garden of Eden to work it and to keep it. And then the Lord God said, it is not good that the man should be alone.

I will make a helper fit for him, a helper suitable for him.

So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and while he slept, he took one of his ribs, and he closed up its place with flesh and the rib that the Lord God had taken from the man he made into a woman. And he brought her to the man.

Then the man said, this at last is bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh. She shall be called woman, because she was taken out of man. Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. And the man and his wife were both naked, and were not ashamed.

Here we see the first marriage. We see the establishment God creating the covenant of marriage. The man, according to Scripture, was made to leave his father and mother. The man was made to enter into a one flesh union with his wife.

The woman was made from man, and the woman was made for man. You see, women are incredibly special. Women are to be treasured. Women are to be considered precious. This does not mean that women are soft. This does not mean that women are incapable. We tend to think that the one who submits is somehow less than. But this is not in the Bible.

The order in a household is simply to reflect God's created order. We are to image him, and this order is to image him in his order. Ultimately, the household order has to do with authority, and it has to do with responsibility. As we'll soon see wives, submit to your own husbands as to the Lord. This does not say what does this passage not say?

This does not say that women should submit to all men in general. This does not say that women are subservient to men. This does not say that women are should be subservient to their husbands. Absolutely not. It doesn't say, wives, submit to your husbands because he's bigger than you, or because he's stronger than you, or because he might make more money than you.

It's not what it says. It says submit to your husband out of reverence for Jesus, out of honor for Jesus. Jesus will be glorified by your striving to respect your husband out of obedience to Christ. Verse 23 for the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church, his body and is himself its Savior.

I can only speak for myself, but God has made me the head of my household. I am the head of my wife. She was in the last service. She and I had a discussion about this passage yesterday. This does not mean that I am better than her, because I am the head of my household. Does it mean I'm more gifted than her?

That's definitely not true. This does not mean that I'm more valuable than her in any way. Not at all. This means that I am responsible.

When I married my wife. I became responsible for her. When we began having kids, I realized I am responsible.

I think that for us men, Judgment Day will be different than it's going to be for women. We are responsible. Jesus made himself responsible for his bride.

He took upon himself the responsibility. He laid down his wife for his bride. To purchase her and to purify her. And to profess to her his love for her. He proved it.

Verse 24. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to the husband. The wife should submit to the husband in the same way that the church should be submitting to Jesus Christ in all things. My amazing wife submits to me in the sense that she looks to me to lead us in our home.

There is safety for my wife in this. There is security for my wife in this. Friends. This does not mean that my wife should submit to me in my sin.

Ladies, please hear me. You should never allow a man to abuse you or threaten you or intimidate you in any way. This is not of the Lord. Wives, if your husband is leading your family in sin, it is your responsibility as his helper to help him to respectfully speak to him about your concerns. Not in front of anyone else, not in front of the kids, not after you've gossiped about him with a bunch of other people.

Go to him in a posture of submission with respect. Pray for him. Treat him like you would want to be treated. Believe that Jesus can use you to do his work in him. And husbands, listen to your wives. God has blessed us with our wives for a reason.

My wife has been the person that God has used the most powerfully in my life for my own sanctification, to make me a better man. Not all the sermons I've listened to, not the books that I've read, not the theologians that I, you know, that that have influenced me. My wife, God, has used my wife more than anyone else in my life to make me better.

Listen to what God is telling you through your wife. Ladies, there's a flip side to this. If you are not submitting to your husband, you are in sin. If you are disrespectful to him, it is sin. If you ridicule him and mock him and belittle him and constantly criticize him. This is sin. Treat your husband with respect. Submit to your husband because Christ commands it and he will honor it.

And he knows that it will not be easy. He will be with you immediately after the fall in the Garden of Eden. After Eve was tempted by the serpent, and she took of the fruit, and she ate of it, and then she gave it to her husband. And then he took of the fruit, and ate of it. And sin entered the world, right?

All creation was broken. It was fallen. God cursed the serpent after this. And then he warns the man and the woman of what the consequences of their sin would be. And he says this to the woman. He said, I will surely multiply your pain and childbearing in pain. You shall bring forth children. Your desire shall be against your husband, but he shall rule over you.

The resistance of the woman to respect her husband, to submit to her husband, is woven into the fabric of the broken creation. Ever since the fall, ever since sin entered the world, there is a resistance to this. In this relationship, the woman will desire to be against her husband, and yet God says he shall rule over you. This is just another reason why this is so difficult for wives to submit to husbands and husbands.

We need to be aware of this.

We need to be understanding of this spiritual reality, and we need to be understanding of the ways in which our wives may struggle.

We are responsible husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her. Wives are called to submit husbands are called to die. Husbands are to die to themselves for the sake of their wife. Husbands are to lay down their lives for their families. This is what it means to be a man. This is also the key to becoming the man that your wife would love to follow.

Husbands lay down their lives for the sake of their wives. Most women.

Even women that don't believe in God. They would love to honor and respect a man that is honorable and respectable.

I can't imagine it's very difficult for a woman to respect and submit to a man that she doesn't respect men. Be honorable. Be respectable. Be the man that she's glad to follow. It's hard to respect a man if he acts like a selfish boy.

You.

Boys play video games. Boys look at porn.

They don't work hard and provide financially. They avoid helping their wives with chores and with help around the house and with the kids. And they hide out in the garage or in the yard with their hobbies. And they waste money on gambling or toys or bad investments. This is stuff that selfish little boys do. In first Corinthians 13, which coincidentally, it happens to be the chapter in the Bible most about love.

Paul says this when I was a child, I spoke like a child. I thought like a child. I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I gave up childish ways. Husbands, we are called to die. We have been called to lay down our lives for our wives. Even as our wives are called to submit to us.

We are called to submit in all things to our Lord Jesus Christ. And his command for us is to lay down your life for your wife.

Why did Jesus lay down his life? Verse 26 that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle, or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. Jesus laid down his life to sanctify us, to cleanse us, to purify us, to make us beautiful and presentable and blameless, to make us holy and husbands, out of our love for Christ, out of obedience to Jesus, we are to do the same for our wives.

We have been called to lay down our lives for our wives. In the same way, husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it just as Christ does the church. Because we are members of his body. I remember when God spoke to me and convicted me as I was reading this passage the first time, I remember where I was.

I remember what I was doing. I remember how overwhelmed I felt it was like a whisper that weighed 1,000 pounds. It just dropped on me.

And he said, you are the man.

You are responsible.

And I realized I am responsible. I am responsible for my home, for the environment that I create in my home, the environment I allow in my home, the environment I create in which my wife and my kids might flourish. I am responsible.

I am to make sure they have the nourishment that they need physical nourishment, food and clothes and and shelter and safety. Emotional nourishment. Spiritual nourishment. Relational nourishment. We're supposed to have fun. I'm responsible for that, too. It's not supposed to be a drag.

They're just walking around, afraid of it. Of everything. All the time. That's not flourishing. It was on me. I realized it's on me. I am responsible for their hearts and for their flourishing. Verse 31. Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church.

The purpose for marriage is to paint a picture of the gospel. The wife is called to submit. Just like the church should submit. And the husband is called to love and to lay down his life for his wife as Christ laid down his life. It's a picture of the gospel. Marriage is not easy. Building a good marriage, a God honoring marriage is the hardest thing that anyone will ever do.

And if you've been married a while, you know.

It is hard.

Marriage is not easy. And the gospel was not easy to execute. There was intention. There was planning, there was investment. There was sacrifice. There was blood and sweat and tears. Marriage is not easy. Painting a picture of the gospel in marriage is not easy, but it's worth it. Nevertheless, let each of one let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

Wives are called to submit. Husbands are called to die. The wife is called to submit and to respect her husband. Just like the church should be submitting to and honoring Jesus, the husband is to submit to Christ in all things, and lead and love and lay down his life for his wife, just like Christ does for us, for the church.

The husband and wife are to paint this picture of the gospel together and the gospel painting portrait. It is for their benefit. It is for their blessing, and it is for their kids and maybe their kids kids. And it is for the unity of the church, which is why this letter is being written, and it is for the advancement of the gospel.

Marriage is a missional endeavor. Let me just say this. This is not mentioned in this passage. But friend, if you are single, you are not a second class Christian. Paul says in first Corinthians seven that singleness is actually a gift. If you have been given the gift to go through this life in singleness, you have more capacity to do work in the Lord.

You have more capacity to give of your time to the Lord. You have more capacity to serve. You have more capacity to be generous with your time and your resources and all of who you are. And Paul says you will have far less trouble.

I know that you will have far less of the trouble that comes along with married life. That's just reality. Paul says it. It's the Bible. First Corinthians seven. Look it up and right. Let me also just say, if you are single again, Christian, you are not alone. God sees you. There are many reasons why marriages end and none of them are pleasant.

And the church is God's gift. Married, unmarried. The church is God's gift for all of us. Allow the church to be a help to you, to be a safe place for you to be a support to you, to encourage you and equip you. You are not alone. Chapter six children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right honor your father and mother.

This is the first commandment with the promise that it may go well with you, and that you may live long in the land. Parents, if you need to be dismissed to go get your kids and bring them back in here. I can repeat that in a second. This is why family worship is so important and your kids should be in here sometimes.

I should send an email. Hey, make sure your kids are in church. Paul is quoting the fifth commandment of the Ten Commandments from Deuteronomy and Exodus. Deuteronomy five. Honor your father and your mother as the Lord God has commanded you, that your days may be long, and that it may go well with you in the land that the Lord your God is giving you.

Kids. Kids in the room, obey your mom.

Obey your dad.

Obey your parents. It's the right thing to do. The Bible says we all know it's hard. Every one of us remembers what it was like to be a kid. It's hard to obey all the time. There's sin inside of all of us that makes us want to do what we want to do, when we want to do it.

This is called the flesh.

But help your parents. Obey your parents. Honor your parents. Because God promises in this passage and and elsewhere, if you obey your parents, it will go well with you and you will be blessed. Jesus obeyed his mom and his dad, right? He knew that his father was a Heavenly Father, but he had earthly parents, Mary and Joseph, and he obeyed them.

If Jesus can do it, he will help us to do it. Ask Jesus for help. Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord, or the instruction and the admonition of the Lord. Again Paul directs his command to those responsible. He says, fathers. He doesn't say parents. He says, children, obey your parents.

Then he says, fathers.

Because dads are responsible. Because dads will be held to a higher account. Y'all, this is just reality.

Dads have such an influence on their kids. My dad had such an influence on me. Good influence, bad influence with their presence or with their absence. This is how God designed us in his created order. Dads, we are to treat our kids like God the Father has treated us. Has he not been patient with us? Has he not been more gentle with us than we deserve?

Has he not been kind? Are his rebukes and his convictions and his corrections not gentle and soft? They may be like a whisper that weighs 1,000 pounds. But he's not hitting us with what we deserve.

Dads, if we're always angry, if we're always frustrated. This is what will be produced in our children. They will be angry. They will be frustrated.

If all our kids ever hear is no and stop that. And what were you thinking? And what's wrong with you? They're going to feel like nothing, no matter what they do, is ever going to be good enough, and they're going to be exasperated. I can relate to this. As a child, nothing was good enough for my dad growing up.

He didn't mean to do this, but he exasperated me. There was a sense of hopelessness to that. I couldn't do enough. I could not measure up. Is this what we're doing to our kids?

That's not flourishing. So much of how we, all of us, relate to God is put into us by our earthly fathers. How we view our father will be projected in some form or fashion on to God, and we will relate to him that way. This is such a huge responsibility. Dads, teach your kids, discipline your kids, correct your kids, teach them about consequences.

Instruct them in the ways of Jesus. Warn them. They're little sinners just like us. They need help. God has put them under our care for a reason. Bond servants. Verse five. Obey your earthly masters with fear and trembling, with a sincere heart, as you would Christ, not by the way of eye service as people pleasers, but as bond servants of Christ.

Doing the will of God from the heart. Rendering service with a good will as to the Lord and not to man. Knowing that whatever good anyone does this, he will receive back from the Lord, whether he is a bond servant or free in the Roman household. In the context to which Paul writes. It was quite common for homes to have servants.

They were called bond servants as translated slaves. These were often poor people, or people who had accrued large amounts of debt, and they would willingly sell themselves into the employment of a household. They would be provided a home. They would be provided food. They would be provided shelter. They would they would, work for the household for a set amount of time, for a predetermined amount of money.

And when that was over, they were free and they could choose to do it again if they needed to. These were not like slaves, like we think of slaves today. They had not been stolen from their homes and sold into slavery. That type of slavery was considered an abomination. In the Bible. It was a crime punishable by death.

Exodus 21 whoever steals a man and sells him, and anyone found in possession of him shall be put to death. I just want to say this because it's here in the Bible. The African slave trade and all practices similar to it are evil.

They are an abomination to God. There is no gray area. There is no justification. We need to call it what it was. It was evil. But here in this passage, this slave master relationship was not like that of the African slave trade. The only thing that you could compare it to today is employer employee relationship that so many of us know.

Paul is saying, when you work, whether you're a boss, whether you're an employee, do your work as unto the Lord. To the slave, he says, do your work for your boss. For the company that you work for, as if you are working for Jesus.

Bond servants obey your earthly masters with fear and trembling. With a sincere heart, as you would for Christ. Not by the way of eye service as people pleasers, but as bond servants of Christ. Doing the will of God from your heart. Rendering a service with a good will as to the Lord and not to man. Knowing that whatever good anyone does this, he will receive back from the Lord, whether he is a bond servant or is free.

Verse nine Masters do the same to them and stop your threatening. Knowing that he who is both their master and yours is in heaven, and that there is no partiality with him. Do any of you in here have direct reports? Do you have people under your employment? Do you have people in your workplace that are under your care?

How are you treating them?

Do we not know that God sees it all? Not only does he see what we do, what we say. He sees our thoughts. He sees our hearts. He sees our motives and our intentions. Jesus said, the greatest commandment is to love the Lord your God with all of your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind, with all your strength.

And the second is just like it. To love your neighbor as yourself.

Do you love God? Are you loving God with all of who you are? The proof.

Will be how you are doing. Loving people.

How we treat people. Every person, every relationship in our life. These are meant to show us how we're doing. Loving God. How we love people is how we are doing. Loving God.

Paul wants to get the gospel way down deep inside of us. He wants it to become a part of who we are to to affect every part of our life, experience and reality. He wants us to consumed with the love of God, obsessed by the story of God. This is how we were meant to live. This is how God designed us and created us so that we could flourish.

We are to be a gospel centered people. We are to live all of our life before the face of Jesus, even in our weakness, even in our struggle, even in our failings. He knows. He knew we could not do this on our own, in our own strength. He knew. It's why he had to model it for us. It's why he had to do what he did and live and die and be raised again, so that he could make himself our motivation.

This is why he had to be the one to make the way, so that we could be with him forever. Friends, if you are a Christian, the Bible says that the same power that raised you from the dead now lives in you. And the Bible also says that everything that we need, we have for life and for godliness.

And if you're not a Christian, make today your day. Consider this God's invitation to you to confess and to believe, and to repent, and to receive the forgiveness that God offers us through the death of Jesus on the cross. Make him your Lord. Make him your Savior. Commit your life to him. Jesus is the model. Jesus is the motivation.

Wives are called to submit in obedience to Christ, out of love and obedience for Jesus to submit to their husbands. Look to Jesus. Husbands, we are to submit to Christ out of obedience and love for him. We are to love our wives and lay down our lives.

Children are to obey their parents just like Jesus did. Fathers, we are to treat our children just like Jesus treats us. Teach like he teaches us discipline and correct like he does us, not like our dads might have corrected us and disciplined us like Jesus does. Warn our kids just like Jesus warns us. Also, every boss and every employee and every person in any position of authority and every person under authority, every neighbor and every friend and every coworker, everyone.

We are to love others as Christ has called us to love, as Christ has loved us. He died for us. He gave his life for us. He deserves our obedience and our love. He deserves all of our life because he gave all of his life for us. He doesn't do this to rule over us. He doesn't do this to to just because he likes to tell us what to do.

He's not keeping all the best things from us. He gives us these commands because he wants our hearts. He asks for obedience because he wants our hearts. He wants our worship. He wants us to find our identity and our satisfaction in him because he made us, and he knows how we are to flourish, and he wants the best for us.

I love the way John Piper puts it. God is most glorified in us when we are most satisfied in him.

I'll close with this. Have this mind among yourselves which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped. But he emptied himself by taking on the form of a servant, and being born in the likeness of men, and being found in human form.

He humiliated himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. Therefore, God has highly exalted him and bestowed upon him the name that is above every name, so that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God.

The Father. Amen.